Not done that much today. Maybe we all need days where “rest” and relaxation is on the front page. But maybe I am kidding myself. Maybe rest is what we dont need. Maybe exercise more, try a little harder, eat more vegetables, create more goals.
Its the balance between this that is hard. It really is. What is balance anyway?
Did 5 calm.com’s yesterday. Felt nice! Today has been a day at work. Did not feel as stressed as I did last week. Maybe because I did meditation? I dont know. Ill find out soon, because today I am going to continue it. Only with two though. Today’s task is going to be editing photos, posting on this blog and taking a jog. Ive done all three.
Anyways, I wonder how this blog is going to turn out. It all started as some nonsense self-help and it quickly turned into a personal diary of some sorts.
I like continuity of things. Such as this, where I am able to discover or perhaps exercise my ability to use my own voice in words. I normally write in another language, Norwegian, but I mostly read in English. Ive also noticed that im more tuned into what I am reading at the moment. Looking at styles, new words, and how things look on a page. Life often turns beautiful when you see everything as a craft that you can practice. Such as mindfulness, writing, talking, working, attention, etc. I love it.
I struggled yesterday. I didn’t manage the task I set myself out to do. The task was 5 meditations. I stopped at two and delayed them so long that the clock suddenly turned 3am. But today is a new day. It’s sunday and “I’m feeling good”. Well sort of. Today I am going to pick up where I left and do 5 guided meditations. I am also going to write down some other quests or “happiness” pursuits to use later. The reason for this daily habit I am trying to create is to create other beneficial habits such as:
Being goal-oriented, writing more, writing blogposts, using what I read in my daily life, being kinder, sleeping better, etc. What we all want really.
So lets begin.
I think this is a better way to write my blog. To have continuity. That is important. I got inspiration from a book im reading on happiness written by Gretchen Rubin. So what am I going to do today? Its saturday, I have free time (or maybe not, there are tons of unresolved work to do at my job. Should I go there today or should I wait to monday?)
Anyway. Today, as a personal quest Im going to do 5 calm.com -app meditations. We always read or hear about how you should live this or that way. Usually we dont follow all the tips and tricks we read about. I wonder. How would it feel to live “scientifically” a day or two? I think I will try it. I am going to: Eat lots of vegetables, almost no sugar, meditate, work out, clean clutter, meditate (5 times) and try to get out in the sun. I will also try to turn off electricity (Wifi etc.) before i go to bed. Results? I will write about them tommorow.
So I should be tracking my happiness. But guess what? I just came back from work and its already in the evening. Sometimes when we plan, we plan when energy is high, sleep is good from the day before and we have lots of motivation. But sometimes, we get home. We do not want to do anything. Just exist. Wait for another day. Look at some television. Make the day go past. But I think its a wise thing to show up, to write, exercise or do whatever that is going to be beneficial for the future. After I came back from work I turned on the computer, edited some pictures, put up a blogpost (on an entirely different blog) and then logged on to my other blog to write this. So here you have it. Maybe not the best text, or not the most inspirational. But I guess it will do it for me. I have succeeded in doing my promises (which is post every day. Or nearly..)
I wonder how the world would be if I suddenly stopped doing things I usually do. I wake up, go home, eat, go out and exercise, go home, read and then sleep. Sometimes I do other things. But not with too much variaton. I have this nagging feeling that usually comes by bedtime. I normally read then. But the back of my mind keeps telling me that something has to change. I usually try to change something, but things quickly revert back to ordinary habit. Books on happiness tell you to be grateful for the things which you have. Happiness is already “within you.”
But I refuse to acknowledge that. I want something to change every constant moment. I wonder how to change. The answers are in the books which I read. They tell you do to microhabits, they tell you to take it gradually, to track, to make a list of certain long-term or small-term goals. I dont know and nobody probably ever will be able to figure out how to live life, to crack the code of change. Maybe it all boils down to taking things with ease. Make incremental changes in your day, such as writing daily blogposts (I forgot yesterday), or maybe save a little bit each day (I do it in index-funds). I know the effects of these things will not show after weeks or months. But what about after years? The money I monthly invest will eventually grow. The words written on these posts will also eventually do something. Maybe they make me more aware – or a better skilled writer? Maybe they will someday contribute to me writing a book? Or maybe they will end in quiet desperation. Who knows.
It’s difficult starting a new habit and it’s difficult creating a blog-post every single day. There are tons of books, themes, things, “stuff,” one could write about. Sometimes I wish I were better at focusing on just one theme over time instead of many. I presume thats how most people reading self-help fail. Most people do not re-read multiple times, take time with each chapter and execute whatever advice the book gives.
I like to make thought experiments. How would my life be if I could only read one book a month (or a year?.) My habit has been to read around 2 books a week. I dont re-read, but when I do I find that i have forgotten almost every piece of advice that book gave. But some things stick. It makes me question myself. Why the hell do we have so many problems with implementing and taking action?
I sometimes feel I could just quit reading (much non-fiction is mostly recirculating old ideas) and then take a year of just taking action. But maybe the reading part itself is good. Maybe just knowing (even if you lie to yourself) that you have toolbag of productivity/self-help/habitmodifying/mindaltering tips and tricks -is a good thing in itself.
Are you listening to other people? Shouldism, couldism, wouldism – you cant! Those are populare isms. It is glaringly ovious that many people, great people, followed their own way. Hell even these words is from someone following his own way. They may sound stupid, they may feel stupid. They may even make no sense! However, if I had listened to my own mind, this blog would not even have started. And if I continue writing everyday, suddenly all those posts would compound to hundreds, even a thousand. Imagine how much practice that is. Then maybe the book you once dreamed of writing could start becoming a reality. It is obvious that whats successful start with many small, unoticable steps. But those steps turns into a marathon, something big. And suddenly you have arrived at your destination. More marathons will later be easier. But stopping at the door is the easy thing, or, dreaming big (but dont you dare to do it.)
Doubt, fear, and thinking about what others might perceive of you – stops you. We all live in a prison in some way. But being a trailblazer is doing something different. Trailblazing can be small, such as going to that girl. Saying no, saying yes. Writing a blogpost a day.
Its striking how similar days can look if I dont stop myself. The answer all lies in the ability to handle psychological discomfort – and learning from it.
There is bliss in tracking something over time. In this I mean a bliss of seeing yourself change and becoming aware. Lets say you spend too much money. You track it over time, become aware, and then you stop wasting money on the unrecognizable small stuff.
What should be tracked? This is a great question. The question is arguably only limited by the imagination. You can now track an amazing number of things such as steps, heartrate, and sleep. But what about every pushup you take, or, every time you log on to facebook? You can also track how much time you spend watching television or how much time you look at the news. Then after seeing how much time invested – ask yourself “Will these behaviors make my life any better in the long term?.”
The reason for tracking is to become aware. To become aware is a good thing because then you ultimately know where your time go, where your life is leading and how you actually spend your time – “Wow now I know why I dont have time to exercise, why I am fat and why I am unhappy with my life.”
I argue that proficiency in time-awareness is one of the most important qualities one can have in life. I also believe thats what separate people. What you spend your time on, and how you spend your time – that is important things to consider. It is also a simple idea, but most of us tend to forget it in our everyday lives.
After reading alot of books. After helping alot of people, one can assume one striking trait of human nature: It is all habits. We are not 90 percent habits and 10 percent something else. It is a solid 100. Well why do you say this? Isnt there a person in there? How can we change ourselves then?
These questions are probably what life is all about. A large chunk of internet revolves around these types of questions. Its probably the most beautiful riddle in the world.
Anyway. This blog will try to ask questions:
How can we be happy?
How can we change to be happy?
How can we identify what to change?
How can we change it?
There is a pletora of different views on these questions. Just get busy on the internet to see. I believe that there are some really important things one can do, and that is tracking and measuring.
Say, you want to change some aspect of yourself, such as getting from strong to weak (people dedicate their lives to this). The most effective way is to lift something off the ground, measure it and repeat. So simple. When you have measured this, you start tracking. You know what you did last time. You strive to do it just a little bit better the next time in increments. After some time doing this, such as a month, a year or a decade youve gotten better. Presumably alot better (if youve followed the tracking and the measuring). This is so simple, yet so hard for people to understand. Sure you will be better, but how can you know? Only by being consistent on tracking and measuring.